#1 Bestseller — Child Psychology
"If only this child came with a manual!"
The Uncontrollable Child
By Matis Miller, LCSW, A-CBT, DBT-LBC
Even parents of typical children often find themselves floundering. This book gives you clear, step-by-step skills — grounded in dialectical behavior therapy — for everyday parenting moments. For parents, educators, and clinicians.
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A lifeline for parents of dysregulated kids
Written for parents of children with emotion dysregulation — including disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD), ADHD, and ODD — The Uncontrollable Child contains a powerful set of skills based in DBT: mindfulness, validation, limit-setting, and behavior-shaping. Find the balance between acceptance and change, flexibility and consistency, limits and love.
Inside the book
10 things this book will teach you
The Uncontrollable Child is a revolutionary book that will teach you how to…
- 01Balance extremes and become a flexible thinker
- 02Accept your child and his or her challenges
- 03Be a more mindful and present parent
- 04Regulate your emotions and improve communication with your child
- 05Let go of judgmental thoughts and feelings towards your child
- 06Validate your child with specific concepts and strategies
- 07Shape your child's behavior through use of rewards, praise, and charts
- 08Decrease your child's problematic behaviors
- 09Set, implement, and maintain limits for your child
- 10Balance the needs of your "uncontrollable child" with the rest of the family
What readers are saying
Loved by parents, therapists, and educators
Excellent Parenting Book
"WOW!! As both a therapist and a mother I found this book to be fantastic! It is a comprehensive guide in helping parents with difficult children as well as 'regular' children. Miller simplifies and breaks down complex concepts in DBT and applies it to practical and challenging real-life situations that parents face. This is by far the best parenting book I have read!"
nj
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Important book for parents and clinicians
"As a DBT therapist and parent I found this book to offer a lot of insight and is easy to read. Miller does a great job of distilling complex concepts into language anyone can understand. He also has a knack for applying DBT principles in a straight-forward and applied way with plenty of helpful clinical vignettes."
JL
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Great Resource!
"The Uncontrollable Child is the first parenting book I've read that explains the concept and practical application of DBT in raising a child with emotional dysregulation. The author provided mindful and realistic examples and suggestions for adding DBT skills to a parent's toolbox. It is an engaging book and easy to read."
Nomi N. Zomick
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A must even if you don't have uncontrollable children
"I have a very troubled teenager step son who has done unbelievably unacceptable things in school and at home. After reading this book and putting the skills into effect I noticed a huge difference. But me and his mother were bashing our heads against a wall to figure out how to get through to the kid."
Michael Thompson
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Finally an author that 'get's it'!!
"I never would have thought a parenting book would be so hard to put down! My only complaint is that it wasn't published when my own kids were younger. I have already implemented some of the ideas in my classroom. This should be required reading for everyone that interacts with children."
Karen
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Clear, down to earth book
"After spending thousands and thousands of dollars on therapy and trying so many different things for my child for 15 years plus — this book really makes the most sense on how to deal with a challenging child. It's not easy work but it's doable and it works!!!!!! A must read!!!!"
rh
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Praise
What experts are saying
An excellent book — research-based, common-sense, and applicable to all children and their caretakers. Read it, try it, and watch yourself change!
President, Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy; Clinical Professor, University of Pennsylvania
Enormously helpful for parents struggling with out-of-control kids. Grounded in research with practical, useful advice. Buy this book!
The Gottman Institute — author of Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
A deceptively easy-to-read masterpiece weaving behavioral theory, dialectical principles and DBT into loving, effective parenting strategies.
Associate Professor of Psychiatry, University of Massachusetts Medical School
Clear, thoughtful concepts and effective navigational tools for the most challenging parenting issues — beautifully balancing acceptance and change.
Director, The Cognitive Therapy Center of NJ — author, Disarming the Narcissist
Highly practical, evidence-based strategies grounded in a deep understanding of the balance between love and limits. Highly recommended.
Straus Chair in Psychology and Education, Azrieli Graduate School, Yeshiva University
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The Uncontrollable Child
★★★★★ 4.7 · 500+ reviews